did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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