I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it's great music for shaving your balls
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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