i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
