i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
