No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
