Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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