Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
