He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
