I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize