I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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