I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
