Where is the hickey?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
