We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
