you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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