So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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