That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
