i just had sex bonerless
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
