Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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