no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
