You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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