Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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