New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
