it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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