Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
