a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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