i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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