i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
