I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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