Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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