I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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