entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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