What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
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I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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