Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
