why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
