somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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