you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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