at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
even my farts smell like vagina
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
