sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
