I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
