No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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