your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well I just put wine in my tea
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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