God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
