So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
