Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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