why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
