I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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