I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
