Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize