is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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