im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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