we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
