dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
