Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
COCAINE IS GR8
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
