Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
