Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
