Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
