So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
