we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
