Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  Was it cool?

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.

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  (904): Was it cool? (1-904): About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon. http://tfl.nu/28fv
  Replies (31) Good night (874) Bad night (7688)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..

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  (732): just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german.. http://tfl.nu/y195
  Replies (32) Good night (5728) Bad night (947)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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  (610): she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot. http://tfl.nu/93sx
  Replies (26) Good night (7157) Bad night (1415)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just thought you should know her name is kristen

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  (630): the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me. (630): just thought you should know her name is kristen http://tfl.nu/a2dg
  Replies (18) Good night (5283) Bad night (1049)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?

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  (405): i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk? http://tfl.nu/idqr
  Replies (25) Good night (5579) Bad night (1710)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden

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  (770): How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden http://tfl.nu/1f55
  Replies (10) Good night (3961) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment

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  (910): oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment http://tfl.nu/2in4
  Replies (7) Good night (3168) Bad night (1386)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus

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  (215): I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus http://tfl.nu/7gt9
  Replies (5) Good night (1423) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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  (+27): I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me. http://tfl.nu/p5fs
  Replies (13) Good night (596) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.

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  (860): My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church. (1-860): I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life. http://tfl.nu/n824
  Replies (4) Good night (2232) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!

  (408): View more from California

  For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?

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  (831): You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!! (408): For my parents' annivery card? How high are you? http://tfl.nu/qppn
  Replies (2) Good night (1728) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool

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  (404): That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool http://tfl.nu/ivmu
  Replies (6) Good night (551) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together

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  (860): I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together http://tfl.nu/ghj0
  Replies (7) Good night (750) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.

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  (561): Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking. http://tfl.nu/ixjm
  Replies (4) Good night (333) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too

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  (443): yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too http://tfl.nu/ly7w
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (222)

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