I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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