just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
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How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So squirting runs in the family.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?