Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".

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(305): I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang". http://tfl.nu/9dw0

Replies (68) Good night (26148) Bad night (1572)
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(831): View more from California

Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers

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(831): Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers http://tfl.nu/n6ua

Replies (13) Good night (939) Bad night (3794)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.

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(503): I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there. http://tfl.nu/oh3e

Replies (19) Good night (4493) Bad night (748)
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(614): View more from Ohio

So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night

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(614): So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night http://tfl.nu/bxgc

Replies (13) Good night (6657) Bad night (750)
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(443): View more from Maryland

sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?

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(443): sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this? http://tfl.nu/z2x3

Replies (13) Good night (943) Bad night (3414)
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(607): View more from New York

Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked

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(607): Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked http://tfl.nu/f67s

Replies (25) Good night (5000) Bad night (888)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car

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(973): Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car http://tfl.nu/9e8r

Replies (38) Good night (9246) Bad night (2170)
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(813): View more from Florida

I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.

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(813): I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit. http://tfl.nu/1d92

Replies (13) Good night (2901) Bad night (1496)
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(440): View more from Ohio

By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.

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(440): By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER. http://tfl.nu/qy49

Replies (10) Good night (2077) Bad night (1039)
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(925): View more from California

you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed

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(925): you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed http://tfl.nu/e4j9

Replies (11) Good night (1099) Bad night (1800)
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(714): View more from California

Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

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(714): Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock. http://tfl.nu/bwd8

Replies (40) Good night (5631) Bad night (1240)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?

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(615): Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich? http://tfl.nu/f2jm

Replies (12) Good night (2505) Bad night (1954)
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(631): View more from New York

In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.

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(631): In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out. http://tfl.nu/wzbc

Replies (4) Good night (3397) Bad night (719)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.

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(774): On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke. http://tfl.nu/xwsd

Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (487)
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(207): View more from Maine

I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.

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(207): I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here. http://tfl.nu/lv1x

Replies (0) Good night (654) Bad night (329)

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