If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.