Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->

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  (805): who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big --> http://tfl.nu/8d2r
  Replies (9) Good night (623) Bad night (2319)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won

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  (262): Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won http://tfl.nu/cdx8
  Replies (10) Good night (4644) Bad night (654)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.

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  (215): So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her. http://tfl.nu/lt69
  Replies (23) Good night (970) Bad night (4079)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  you lied. pity sex is amazing.

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  (248): you lied. pity sex is amazing. http://tfl.nu/c61w
  Replies (27) Good night (6964) Bad night (907)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?

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  (781): I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I? http://tfl.nu/0o9s
  Replies (5) Good night (847) Bad night (3534)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...

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  (512): I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night... http://tfl.nu/5pml
  Replies (15) Good night (1305) Bad night (3508)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.

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  (847): This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword. http://tfl.nu/au8n
  Replies (12) Good night (4067) Bad night (1049)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.

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  (613): You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw. http://tfl.nu/41w7
  Replies (10) Good night (1512) Bad night (991)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just drove past the dude that came in your sock

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  (315): Just drove past the dude that came in your sock http://tfl.nu/cm59
  Replies (3) Good night (718) Bad night (1530)
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  (415): View more from California

  Feeling better?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.

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  (415): Feeling better? (720): I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day. http://tfl.nu/80q2
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (622)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.

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  (248): Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend. http://tfl.nu/0gh5
  Replies (10) Good night (3570) Bad night (656)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.

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  (734): I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons. http://tfl.nu/bvxd
  Replies (11) Good night (1164) Bad night (491)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza

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  (908): Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza http://tfl.nu/tg8r
  Replies (1) Good night (775) Bad night (282)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.

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  (770): I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid. http://tfl.nu/3jns
  Replies (2) Good night (1362) Bad night (297)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?

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  (404): Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet? http://tfl.nu/rr8x
  Replies (1) Good night (274) Bad night (409)

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