He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.