We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
