I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sex in the backyard? Check.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
