This is not my ceiling
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
