I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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