i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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