you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
