Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
