every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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