dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
